Saying Something ``Rocks'' Doesn't Rock

Okay, I think it's getting to be way beyond the time that we should all retire the phrase ....(blank) rocks.''

Sure, it can be kept around as an ironic comment, or as something that you might find on shirts worn by small children, who haven't beaten it into the ground. (For example, ....My Mom Rocks'' or ....My Dad Rocks'' or ....Elmo Rocks'' t-shirts.)

However, I'm sick of hearing it from adults in regard to everyone and everything, particularly when it seems lazy, disingenuous and obsequious, or when it's used as an advertising shill for something that, let's face it, really doesn't rock, never rocked and regardless of its merit, never will.

For example: ....This hemorrhoid cream ROCKS!''

I'm sorry, but as happy as you may be that your ass doesn't itch anymore, a hemorrhoid cream, by nature, should not be allowed to be described as ....rocking.''

C'mon, people, can't we find something more original to describe things? Can't we get beyond using ....rocks'' as a description with the slathering ubiquity of a lunch lady using mayonnaise?

Or at least can't we mix it up a bit?

How about saying that something ....rolls?''

As in ....rock 'n' roll.''

....Wow! This rolls!''

....You roll!''

....Damn! This hemorrhoid cream rolls!''

Hey, at least it's original.



copyright 2009 Sean Leary / for more writing and incredibly insightful commentary see www.seanleary.com